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  I have a picture taken in the early 90s: I was 13 years old leaning on the railings of the Golden Gate Bridge and looking at the water below. I looked depressed, probably because my dad told me that this landmark was the most popular jumping bridge suicide in the world (at least then). It could be other reasons.


  肯定 I must have died of cold at the time. A pair of long legs in denim shorts were exposed to the summer air in San Francisco. Even in the photo, it looked very cold. Ten years later, after I moved to this city, I walked through hundreds of thousands of tourists who were dressed like me at the time and did n’t understand why there were cold weather in California. I still remember when I first came here Unpleasant wind.


  That was the last stop of the family vacation. It was my first visit to this state, but it was not the first time we had a discomfort during that trip. We came to the Bay Area through State Road 1. State Road 1 is a long and winding coastal road also called Highway 1. When we turned too fast along the cliff-side road, my sister and I were behind I was sick and nauseated in the seat, my mother panicked in the front row. We set off from Los Angeles, where we flew from Cleveland to Los Angeles for one night. When our parents went out, our children were left in the motel room. In a city far away from home, a sound came from the door, and the door could open directly to the outside, and we were scared enough.


  When I started from my home in Oakland last month and started this journey in the opposite direction, I didn't want to go back to the highway or to go to California again. I have no clear plan. I am open to the end of this trip, and people here need that.


  I left my home in the morning on a fresh, lively Dongwan, and the beautiful mountains and gentrified neighborhoods were shrouded in thick fog or smoke from a mountain fire, or both-generally both recently- Heading for a bridge to the San Francisco Peninsula, I was sighing and rejoicing. After driving for about 15 minutes along Highway 1, this bay-side city has become a seaside town with a rural feel. The sea on the right-hand side has gradually come into view, and the urban scenery has disappeared. Soon, you will be in Pacifica, a remote city by the sea, feeling remote and not far away.


  This time, I skipped Pacificica and went 30 miles south to a new (for me) stop-Pescadero. I walked away from the sea and into the town, waiting on the main street for the 124-year-old tavern-restaurant Duarte ’s to open the door. I was ready for lunch. Behind the coffee shop across the street was a small nine-seater movie theater with a strange old movie inside. A newly released cookie from Arcangeli, a department store and delicatessen one block away, was bigger than my face, and I ate one.


  When I finally walked into Duarte ’s (I would not have come here without a friend's introduction), I ordered a lot of artichoke cream soup and green curry. This dish is not on the menu-this was what my friend revealed to me that morning. As on that day, this part of the coastline is often overcast and slightly cool, and I heard that every local around me ordered the same dishes. The sourdough bread served at this restaurant comes from a bakery just north of Half Moon Bay, no worse than any I've had at Fisherman ’s Wharf.

  当我终于走进Duarte’s(要不是有朋友介绍,我是不会来这里的)时,我点了一大堆洋蓟奶油浓汤和绿咖喱。这道菜不在菜单上——这也是那个朋友在那天上午透露给我的。和那天一样,这一段海岸线往往阴云密布,略有凉意,我听到周围的每个当地人都点了一样的菜。这家餐馆供应的酸面团面包来自于半月湾北边一点的一家面包房,不比我在Fisherman’s Wharf吃过的任何一款差。

  There is also a goat milk farm in Tongzhen, which has a tasting shop. Eight miles south is Pigeon Point, one of the tallest lighthouses on the west coast. Another 30 miles past, there is the famous and nostalgic Santa Cruz Beach playground. There are many roller coasters and arcades along the boardwalk, and there are many beaches and parks along the way. I chose to go down Highway 1 on Davenport Beach and decided to leave the bakeries and bars that look worth exploring next time to Big Basin Redwoods State Park, California's oldest state park Because I've never been there before.

  镇子里还有一个羊奶场,里面有试吃店。往南八英里有鸽子岬(Pigeon Point),西海岸最高的灯塔之一。再过去30英里,有著名、充满怀旧感觉的圣克鲁兹海滩游乐场,木板路边有许多过山车和街机,一路上还有不少海滩和公园。我选择在达文波特海滩下1号公路,决定把这里的看起来值得探索的面包房和酒吧留给下一次,前往加州最古老的州立公园大盆地红木州立公园(Big Basin Redwoods State Park),因为我也从没去过那里。

  I circled the car back to the sea and re-opened the coastal road, looking at the options that followed: Moss Landing, which can watch whales and dolphins by boat; and of course Monterey, parents took us The place to go to the beautiful aquarium; Carmel-by-the-Sea, where I only vaguely remember a street full of shops, so fancy that I couldn't even fully understand. I walked straight towards Big Sur.

  我把车绕回到海边,重新开上沿海公路,一边打量着随之而来的选项:莫斯兰丁(Moss Landing),可以乘船观看鲸鱼和海豚;当然还有蒙特利,父母带我们去精美水族馆的地方;卡梅尔小镇(Carmel-by-the-Sea),那里我只依稀记得一条街上满是店铺,花哨到我甚至无法全然理解。我径直朝着大苏尔(Big Sur)走去。

  Big Sur. In terms of its pronunciation, the two parts of words are concise and heavy. A road extends between the rock walls, with one side climbing upwards and the other steeply down-between the clouds. When the fog is low over the water, it looks as if you are driving above the sky. Or, as the fog thins, it blurs the boundaries of water and gas at sea level, as if you were heading for Promise.


  Hiding in the forest on the side of the land is Deetjen's, a 1930's small hotel listed in the National Register of Historic Places, a series of thin-walled houses with ebony structures. The interior rooms have different styles. . The map of the hotel I received on one of my several stays is now framed in my home; this time I booked a room with a shared foyer bathroom, a double bed and a kitchen sink. After having dinner in the restaurant, I lay down and opened the account where the guest could leave a message. A recent one from an older man wrote that he was “frightened and excited” to come to a state he had never been to before, saying he knew nothing about the place. He also said that he had left a hemp cigarette in the teapot. I looked up and saw it on the ledge. When I opened it, I found that it was full of notes with various wishes.

  掩映在陆地一侧林木中的是地杰(Deetjen’s),一家列入《美国国家史迹名录》(National Register of Historic Places)的1930年代小旅馆,一系列乌木结构的薄墙房子,内部房间风格迥异。在几次入住的其中一次领取的旅馆地图,如今已在我的家中裱起;这次我预定的房间有一间共享的门厅浴室、一张双人床和厨房水槽。在餐厅用完晚餐后,我躺下翻开了客人可以在上面留言的房间手账。近期的一条来自一位年长男子,他写下了独自前来一个从未到过的州感到“既害怕又兴奋”,他说对这个地方一无所知。他还说在茶壶里留了一个大麻烟卷。我抬头向上看,瞧见它在壁架上。当我打开时,发现里面塞满了写着各种心愿的纸条。

  I set the alarm clock to midnight. Drive south in the dark along Highway 1 to Esalen, a non-profit college with workshops and accommodation. Its hot springs by the cliffs can be enjoyed by anyone, as long as you can quickly book online for its $ 35 limited bath when it opens for registration at 9 a.m. The problem is: the bath is only open from 1am to 3am. The process of waiting on the side of the road and then being gathered together to register and then be led into the bath was not particularly warm or enthusiastic. But here in the naked stone bathtub, the lights are faintly illuminated, and there is a loud sound of waves crashing in the distance below. The feeling will indeed melt away some discomfort. I was soaking. Breath of redwood and pine.


  选择 I chose this daytime version of the same scene-the sea forever-the next morning for breakfast on the huge terrace of Café Kevah. For what went south that day, I could say for hours: stop by the 80-foot-high McWay Falls on the side of the road; and at Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park Pfeiffer Burns State Park) watched the Pelton Wheel (a type of turbine) exhibition; walked down a steep and slightly menacing trail at Ragged Point Inn and Resort to an abandoned beach, and then decided Take off your panties and plunge into the sea. Afterwards, I stopped at the side of the highway and, along with other tourists, watched a group of dolphins apparently mating below.

  我选择了这同一片景致的白天版本——永远的大海——次日早晨在咖普拜咖啡馆(Café Kevah)的巨大露台上用早餐。对于那天接着往南做了些什么,我可以说上好几个小时:在路边80英尺高的麦克威瀑布(McWay Falls)旁驻足;在茱莉娅·菲佛·伯恩斯州立公园(Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park)看了佩尔顿轮(一种水轮机)展览;在崎岖点酒店度假村(Ragged Point Inn and Resort)沿着陡峭且略显凶险的步道向下走到一片废弃的海滩,然后决定脱到只剩内裤,一头扎进海里。之后,我在公路旁侧停下车,和其他游客一起,观看下面一群显然在交配的海豚。

  On a beach near Cape Piedras Blancas, hundreds of elephant seals lie or play, some of which are nearly 5 meters long and weigh more than 2 tons. As I passed by Hirst Castle, I waved at it. It was located on the high mountain on my left-my parents and I had been there, and the tiles of the Roman indoor pool there were glittering. I saw a volcanic site more than 180 meters high and 23 million years ago. I can see it rising from Morro Bay over a distance of fifteen or six kilometers. I parked the car at its feet, and the otter was swimming around the water in front of me. Their little hands rubbed on their faces and chests, and hugged together when they rolled, as if a stuffed toy had life general.


  Plans are changing. The landscape is changing. The danger is that the climate is also changing.


  之前 Before this trip, the last time I took Highway 1 was three years ago, and I revisited the place where my then husband was—when we had moved out of the Bay Area. One morning, I found myself driving in a car and taking a sharp turn in Big Sur. I felt a strong urge to go down the cliff, and I realized that I needed to change my life. Within a year, we separated. After another year, I finally planned to move again, go back, and return to California.


  I went back not only because you could die on a famous bridge in California—that was taught by my father almost 25 years ago. It is also here how you can live. "There's a lot of homosexuality here," he said one morning while having breakfast at the restaurant of our hotel in San Francisco. My heart pounded, wondering if he said this because he saw two men walking on the sidewalk outside from our table next to the window; I tried to restrain myself from jumping out of my chair I asked him how he knew. My parents just shrugged. Everyone knows.


  It turned out that this is also my sanctuary. I moved here when I was almost 30 years old. I was drinking and drinking too fiercely. With a career I dared not dream of in the past, I was rushed to live elsewhere by the influx of tech industry professionals and lived the happiest life Time has to fight for it. I returned here a few months ago, and nearly 40 people, not only homosexual, but also a public transgender, I am a newcomer, but rooted in a place that can tolerate such complexity. This extends the definition of value and builds and maintains a highway on ever-changing sections of the world. It is hard, dangerous, and nourishing. It understands that a person, a tree, or a planet can be alive greedily while being burned; it understands that gender can be a construct, a pedigree, and a death penalty. My path here is full of twists and turns, but you don't have to make your home from where you were born.




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