快捷搜索: 纽约时报  诚信  教育  香港  经济学人  中国 

别再问孩子“长大后你想做什么”

  What do you want to do when you grow up?

  “长大后你想做什么?”

  In my childhood, I was afraid of this problem. I never gave a good answer. Adults always seem to be very disappointed because I have not dreamed of becoming a big man or a hero, such as a filmmaker or an astronaut.

  在我的孩提时代,我害怕这个问题。我从未给出一个好的回答。大人们似乎总是非常失望,因为我并没有梦想成为什么大人物或是英雄,比如电影人或是宇航员。

  In college, I finally realized that I didn't want to do something. I want to do a lot of things. So I found a workaround: I became an organizational psychologist. My job is to improve the work of others. I was able to experience them indirectly—I have been able to explore how filmmakers explore new ways and how astronauts build trust. And I am already convinced that asking the children what they want to do is a kind of harm to them.

  在大学里,我终于意识到我不想做某一件事。我想做很多事情。所以我找到了一个变通方法:我成为了一名组织心理学家。我的工作是去改善别人的工作。我得以间接体验到它们——我已得以探索电影人如何探索新路、宇航员如何建立信任。并且我已经确信,问孩子们他们想做什么是对他们的一种伤害。

  My first dissatisfaction with this problem is that it forces children to define themselves with a job. When you are asked what to do when you grow up, answering "a father" or "a mother" is socially unacceptable, not to mention "a person of integrity." This may be why many parents claim that they themselves believe that the most important value of their children is to care for others, but their children believe that the most important thing is success. When we define ourselves by profession, our value depends on what we have achieved.

  对于这个问题我的第一个不满是,它逼迫孩子们用一种工作来定义自己。当你被问到长大以后想做什么时,回答“一个父亲”、“一个母亲”在社交意义上是不可接受的,更不要说“一个正直的人”了。这可能是为什么许多家长声称,他们自己认为孩子最重要的价值是关心他人,但他们的孩子认为最重要的是成功。当我们用职业来定义自己时,我们的价值取决于我们取得了什么成就。

纽约时报中英文网 http://www.qqenglish.com/

  The second problem lies in the implication that everyone has the same vocation as himself. Although having a vocation is a source of joy, research shows that finding a vocation will make students feel confused and confused. And even if you are lucky enough to run into the same job, it may not be a viable career. My colleagues and I have found that the call of vocation is often unresponsive: many career dreams cannot pay bills, and many of us don't have that talent. Comedian Chris Rock, when he heard a manager telling a high school student who had just entered the school that they could become anyone they wanted to be, he asked, "Why, why are you kidding these kids?" Maybe four of them may become anyone they want to be. But other 2,000 people better learn how to weld. He went on to say: "To tell the truth to the children. You can do anything you are good at - if they are recruiting people."

  第二个问题在于这样一种暗示,即人人都有属于自己的一样天职。尽管拥有天职会是一种欢乐之源,但研究显示,寻找天职会让学生们感到迷茫和困惑。而且即便你足够幸运碰上了一样天职,它也可能不是个可行的职业。我和同事已经发现,天职的召唤常常得不到回应:很多职业梦想无法支付账单,并且我们中的很多人就是没有那个天赋。喜剧演员克里斯·洛克(Chris Rock)在听到一名管理人员告诉刚入校的高中生,他们可以成为任何他们想成为的人时,他问道,“女士,你为什么要骗这些孩子?”也许他们中有四人可能会成为任何他们想成为的人。但其他2000人最好学会怎么焊接。他接着说:“跟孩子说实话。你可以去做任何你擅长的事——前提是他们在招人。”

  If you can overcome these obstacles, there is a third thing: careers rarely meet the expectations of your childhood dreams. In one study, finding the ideal job made older college students feel more anxious, depressed, weak, and frustrated throughout the process—and were even more dissatisfied with the results. As Tim Urban writes, happiness equals reality and subtracts expectations. If you are looking for ecstasy, then you are destined to be disappointed. This can explain the study, which shows that college graduates who graduated during the recession will be more satisfied after 30 years of work: they don't feel that having a job is a matter of course.

  如果你能克服这些障碍,还有第三道:职业很少能达到你童年梦想的期望。在一项研究中,寻找理想工作让高年级大学生在整个过程中感到更加焦虑、压抑、无力和沮丧——并对结果更加不满。如蒂姆·厄本(Tim Urban)所写,幸福等于现实状况减去期望值。如果你寻找的是狂喜,那么你注定会失望。这可以解释这样的研究,它表明在经济衰退期毕业的大学生30年后工作满足感会更强:他们不觉得有份工作是理所当然的事情。

  One of the benefits of low expectations is that they can eliminate the gap between what we think and what we get. A lot of evidence shows that instead of imagining a job as good, it is better to realistically anticipate what it really looks like when you enter the job, and there is no reservation. Of course, you may be less excited when you take over, but on average, your final gains will be bigger and not easy to quit. Oprah said well: "Your work will never make you feel satisfied."

  低期望值的一个好处是,它们能消弭我们所想与所得之间的差距。大量证据表明,与其把一份工作想象得很美好,还不如在入职时贴合实际地预想一下它真实的样子,并且毫无保留。当然,你在接手时可能会少些激动,但平均而言,你最后的收获会更大,也不容易退出。奥普拉说得好:“你的工作永远不会让你感到满足。”

  I fully support young people to strive for the upper reaches and high goals. But listen to the advice of people who study "work" for a living: these ambitions should not be limited to work. Asking children what they want to do will lead them to pursue a professional identity that they may never want to fight for. Instead, ask them to think about what they want to be – and think about the different things they might want to do.

  我完全支持年轻人力争上游、志存高远。但听听以研究“工作”为生的人的建议吧:这些志向应当不局限于工作。问孩子他们想当什么会使他们去追求一个他们也许永远都不想争取的职业身份。相反,请他们思考一下他们想成为什么样的人——并想想他们可能想做的各种不同的事情。

网站部分信息来源于自互联网和网友上传,只为方便大家查询浏览,请自行核对信息的真实情况,本站将不承担任何责任!

您可以还会对下面的文章感兴趣:

  • 36小时环游新加坡
  • 中国颁布新规,限制未成年人玩游戏
  • 辞掉工作、花了57天,他们找回了走失的狗
  • 改善健康也许很简单:每天少吃300卡
  • 中国志愿者网络“树洞救援队”用AI救援数百位自杀者
  • 最新评论

    留言与评论(共有 条评论)
       
    验证码: